It is that time of the year again. . . when my sister and my mother in-law remember that it is the anniversary of my birth is approaching. This year an annoyingly happy credit card customer service representative kept wishing me a happy birthday when I had to call after a problem paying my bill online. I wish I had the tech support number before I called customer service. I am sure tech support would have been pretty devoid of personality and never mentioned my birthday.
I am in the middle of my forties. How did this happen? It seems like just the other day I was a skinny, healthy, active 20 year old working two jobs over the summer. One in radio for the career and one at the university to pay the bills. So I could work both jobs, I was living with a great family I knew from church and who took me in as if I were one of them. This could not have been a quarter of a century ago.
A quarter of a century. . .why is it we emphasize years that end in increments of five? Sure there is the 16th, 18th, and 21st birthdays, but everything else is measured in fives. People do not make as big of a deal about 32nd birthdays or 19th anniversaries. Most do not attend their 22nd high school reunions. Yet, here I am with another five increment making this pending birthday seem more significant than the last.
Perhaps I should be having a mid-life crisis, but I am not. Yes, things are sagging and wrinkling. Yes, I am no longer skinny. Yes, there are aches and pains. I am very thankful for all of them. It means I am still here.
Besides, I am still kept younger by my four year old. When my mother was my age, my sister was one. She and my father said having her kept them young despite the fact they worried about not living long enough to see her become an adult.
I have found that I worry about my mortality much more. I was glad that in reading other blogs of first time moms over 40 mortality concerns was a common theme. However, no one is guaranteed tomorrow. Unfortunately, I was reminded of this last week when a former student of mine died suddenly of natural causes. He was only 33. He left behind a wife and young daughter. He had planned July 4th activities and to take his daughter to her first professional football game. Yet, he had to go before those tomorrows. Yes, I already had learned that tomorrow is not a guarantee, yet this was a startling reminder.
Yes, I could be having a mid-life crisis, but I won’t. Why should I? Things are not perfect, but they never were perfect nor will they ever be perfect. I can’t live in the past or worry too much about what might happen. I have to be happy with the now.
Instead of bemoaning the nice customer service representative after I hung up the phone the other day, I should have been thankful that she exuberantly sent me well wishes.
